The Passing Of An Irish Princess

The Passing Of An Irish Princess.

I went to a brief musical gathering today. A performance of beautiful harps and violins playing tunes from Ireland and Scandinavia. As I sat and listened to the magically graceful tunes, I closed my eyes and could picture a land far away. A land I’ve never been to, but had always been drawn to. I pictured a certain friend of mine who was also deeply connected to this lush location. A Princess. An Irish Princess to me and so many others. 

I sat at that concert emotionally exhausted, for I was one member of a very close-knit team made up of those who were losing a friend…a sister…or a daughter.

Our young, beautiful, funny Irish Princess was passing away from this earth and we could do nothing to stop it.

Hospice care…

 

 

Frightening words for those of us who have unfortunately experienced it before, and were facing it again. We knew what was coming when the words were mentioned.

So, what did we do? This unlikely band of strong women brought together serendipitously by our princess? We rallied. We rallied around the princess and showered her with love, excitement, stories, pictures, and as many adventures that her riddled body would allow her to experience.

And she was happy.

She was happy for hours. She was happy for days. She was happy for weeks. Several weeks. Was she going to beat the odds and defy what the ominous doctors had predicted?

Unfortunately… no. She was not going to beat the odds…

She didn’t beat the odds.

Our Irish Princess left us this evening. She left us to go to the fields of green and graceful winds. She left to go follow the scent of the Celtic ocean breeze. She left to go across her own horizon and be at peace. Pain free. To be at rest.

So, as I had sat at that musical gathering today and opened my eyes, I had noticed a break in the unforgiving rain we’ve had for so long. A pause. And in that pause the grey mournful clouds had opened up to make way for a glorious bright sun beam. A welcoming beam? A beam from above welcoming our Irish Princess? I’d like to think so.

Farewell beautiful princess. You shared your life with us for far too short of a time. You will be missed by many, and we will all think of you walking in heavenly Irish lavender fields. ♥

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Time Magazine Chooses….. ME TOO!!!

Time Magazine Chooses….. ME TOO!!!

Time Magazine just chose their “person of the year”. Out of several interesting choices, and a few controversial and unpopular candidates, they have chosen the women of the #MeToo movement!

What a statement that makes to the victims, the perpetrators, and to the whole world! That although most of us felt so powerless, even though we may have considered ourselves strong women, we found a voice that has been heard!

Although we may have been chastised for not “speaking up” at the time of our assaults or harassment incidents, we found a whisper. And even when we may have again been reminded of the hurt and pain each incident left with us, we were able to struggle past those scars and declare “me too”!

Shortly after my declaration of “me too” here in my blog writing, I saw something quite disturbing on social media. I noted that some individuals who may have been questioning the victims of sexual assault and/or harassment, progressed from just the occasional one-line unsupportive sentence on their Facebook page or whatever platform they fancied that day, to writing explicit, detailed opinions and their basic disrespect for women in the “me too” movement.

They were critical of their timing, accusing them of “jumping on the band wagon for attention”, and even questioning the legitimacy of their claims. I even saw that one woman on my own “friends” list said that women working with men should have known what could have happened to them because it was like going into the woods knowing there could be a bear. That there is a lot of “grey area” when it comes to male behavior. And if you were offended by any talk, pictures, or physical contact, then you were working in the wrong place.

WHAT?!?!

Then there were the women and men who claimed that if you didn’t come forward with your story within a “reasonable time” then you shouldn’t be able to make an allegations of any assault or harassment later. The time frames thrown around by these ignorant folks ranged from 30 days to 12 months.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!

Are we to believe since we know that some men out there are going to sexually assault you, harass you, grab you, talk to you in a disgusting sexually explicit way, that it is OUR FAULT if we choose to work with or be around all men because we should know better?!?!?

I really couldn’t believe what I was reading. Personally, I took great offensive to what these people were writing. Victim shaming all over again.

I’ve worked in mostly male dominated occupations. I wasn’t offended by most of their locker room talk, and yes, I assumed working in fields that had a higher number of men than women I was going to encounter some of the “male behavior” our society has become accustomed to. We know it, we tolerate it, and we deal with it the best we can. It’s unfortunate, but that’s how it is.

BUT, when the line is crossed whether it be by male or female, and someone is groped, fondled, raped, talked to in an intentional vulgar way, or continually harassed, then there are no “grey areas”!

So, kudos to you Time Magazine! Congratulations on your choice of your “Person of The Year”. Thank you for not choosing a football player.

Thank you for NOT choosing one of the biggest pu**y grabbers in our nation!

 

 

 

Thank you from all the #MeToo people out there who deserve to be heard, deserve respect, and deserve NOT to be shamed for being a victim. And for recognizing us for making our OWN decisions on when or if we want to say anything, and what we want to say if we do.

Even if it was with #MeToo. 

 

The Life Of A Blogger With Internet Issues…

The Life Of A Blogger With Internet Issues…

Yes, the life of a blogger can be wonderfully rewarding as you get to help create stimulating conversations between folks and hopefully cause some reflection in them to assist in whatever way needed for that particular day. Blogging is also very rewarding for the writer. We get to meet new people, hear about their hopes and dreams, and also receive personal encouragement and inspiration from our readers. It’s a fantastic experience!

 

What ISN’T fantastic is when we as bloggers are faced with internet challenges! Being in the middle of an article and having your internet connection go down due to weather, the internet provider or whatever the cause is at that moment, can be very frustrating.

 

But, we remain calm (most of the time), continue to attempt to upload the precise picture we’ve been struggling to place on our blog for the past 45 mins and top off our mimosa if desired. 😊

Thank you again for being here and participating in the great growing community of bloggers and readers. I am both a blogger and a reader of other blogger’s material. Keep it up writers!

And may you have a great connection today… both figuratively and technically.  

Attitude, Gratitude and…Popcorn?

Attitude, Gratitude and…Popcorn?

What makes us grateful? What determines our daily attitude? Is it our own mood as an individual? Is that influenced by others or our environment? I would say yes to all of the above.

Recently, I’ve been pondering gratitude and attitude, but also with a little bit of popcorn on the side. Popcorn you say? Why popcorn?

Well, most of us prefer our popcorn in a specific way. Lots of butter, no butter, a little salt, dump it on, etc. But what if we are sharing that said popcorn with someone? Someone we care about. Are we willing to forgo our slathering application of liquid gold to the contained corn in order to allow the other persons own taste bud desires to be fulfilled? I would hope so. As individuals, showing our gratitude for those in our lives is extremely important, but forgotten all too often.

When we are faced with loss, death, grief, and even excitement, happiness and joy. We reflect back to those who have contributed to all of the emotions we feel, whether they are positive or challenging. They’ve helped make us who we are and we must stop at some point and alter our attitude if needed, show our gratitude, and be willing to share our popcorn.

As time with our loved ones becomes limited due to our busy lives, longevity or logistics, it becomes more and more clear to us what is really important. It’s not materialistic belongings. It’s not who was right or wrong about whatever topic, and it certainly isn’t worth potential emotional damage to anyone.

Never taking others for granted. Never losing sight of what you are grateful for and the life you are privileged to have.  And never being afraid to say you’d prefer no butter on your popcorn, but know when to compromise with a little less salt for those we love.

 Hugs to all!     

When Women Come Together…

When Women Come Together…

 Today I was going to post about the frustrations I have been feeling since realizing a member of my “circle” wasn’t as supportive as I believed they were, and in fact may have had some negative impact in my life. I could write about that. But I chose another option… Positivity.

We women have a circle.        

A group.

A community.

A tribe.

It can be made up of family, friends, women or men. Sorry men, but this view is mainly about the support women give other women. We can tackle the men contribution on another day.

Your women circle could be made up of two people or ten. But it’s a supportive group. People you would turn to with concerns, frustrations and to celebrate successes. When women come together and let go of the judgement and show support for each other as women, truths come out. Relations happen and connections are formed.

I’ve been part of several women circles, from the military, the dog show world, community theater, other mom groups, and most recently the world of writing and blogging. Yes, some of these circles have had their ups and downs, and unfortunately you do find that some women are in the circle for the wrong reasons. They are in search of a platform to show power, seem to enjoy breaking other women down, or just don’t quite understand the potential greatness that can come from women supporting other women instead of competing with them.

But the majority of the time when you get a group of women together with the same belief that they can draw strength from each other and potentially become unstoppable in their pursuits as individuals or as a group, it can be amazing. That’s when support from other women happens.

It can be a challenge for those of us who are more of introverts. It takes us longer to trust and open up, but once we do we are loyal to the end and will have your back no matter what. Groups made up of both introverts and extroverts are quite intriguing.

Is it our obligation to teach other women about the power of these groups? To teach our daughters and mothers, creating a ripple effect so that we can potentially impact the world? Absolutely.

So, when we are faced with the choice of dwelling on something negative that may have come to our attention, know when to change your course. Be confident in your circle members that still contribute to the greater good for all, and continue to draw strength from them. And some day another member may be drawing strength from you. It’s all about the circle…

 

 

Hoe, Hoe, Hoe…

I was recently on Facebook looking for a kitten for my daughter. I found an add posted by a woman in a nearby town and contacted her. We began chatting back and forth about cats and kids, and I told her that I had 6 children. She went on to call me “a huge hoe”. Excuse me? I thought it was a misprint on her part, but she clarified that she was indeed calling me a huge whore! Wow!

After the initial shock from her rudeness wore off a bit, I asked her why she would make such a statement to a stranger? She informed me that if anyone had more than 3 children, they were indeed whores. I didn’t feel the need to “explain” the number of my children, but did tell her that three of my kids were biological and a few were adopted. She proclaimed that it was “okay then”. Phew! What a relief it was that this ignorant dip stick was pardoning me from a life of a huge hoe label plastered on my forehead!

 

Seriously? Is that what some people really think? And if they think that, do they think it is their place to judge others? I don’t ask for assistance, I provide for all my children, and raise them to be kind, caring and honest human beings. We don’t live like royalty, but we’re grateful for all we have and worked very hard to achieve. But I also know others who still struggle. Plenty of two parent or single parent families with several children who strive every day to make their world a better place and provide for their own families. Good decent kind people who happen to have more than 3 children. Some have 5, 6, or maybe even 8! No matter how they arrived at their “number”, why do some people think it’s ok to judge them and label the women in the equation as whores?

Talking to some women, they have felt judged by this stereotype and the assumption that if they have multiple children they must all be from multiple different men. That they are probably un-employed and sit around all day watching Jerry Springer and sucking down Big Gulps!

I know quite a few successful women (and men) raising their children with partners or alone with large families. They weren’t handed what they have. They worked hard. Do we call the attorney with 5 children a huge hoe because she put herself though law school while working two jobs but decided she wanted multiple children? Where is the kindness and emotional support from other adults? Where is the love for children?

 

I’m not so naive that I don’t realize that there are indeed some people who do milk certain systems and don’t strive to work hard, don’t have a good work ethic, or even attempt to raise kind human beings. But, does that give us permission to treat them with such disdain? Perhaps they have a back story that we know nothing about. Perhaps there is a legitimate reason that they are where they are. Perhaps… Or maybe not. But to pass judgement on every family who may not fit into the “perfect” mold of having two or three children, is just cruddy.

So, to all my fellow “huge hoes” out there, whether you came about your gaggle of children from your uterus, your heart, or your family ties, drive on! You’re doing great!

And no…. I didn’t get the kitten. 😊