When Women Come Together…

When Women Come Together…

 Today I was going to post about the frustrations I have been feeling since realizing a member of my “circle” wasn’t as supportive as I believed they were, and in fact may have had some negative impact in my life. I could write about that. But I chose another option… Positivity.

We women have a circle.        

A group.

A community.

A tribe.

It can be made up of family, friends, women or men. Sorry men, but this view is mainly about the support women give other women. We can tackle the men contribution on another day.

Your women circle could be made up of two people or ten. But it’s a supportive group. People you would turn to with concerns, frustrations and to celebrate successes. When women come together and let go of the judgement and show support for each other as women, truths come out. Relations happen and connections are formed.

I’ve been part of several women circles, from the military, the dog show world, community theater, other mom groups, and most recently the world of writing and blogging. Yes, some of these circles have had their ups and downs, and unfortunately you do find that some women are in the circle for the wrong reasons. They are in search of a platform to show power, seem to enjoy breaking other women down, or just don’t quite understand the potential greatness that can come from women supporting other women instead of competing with them.

But the majority of the time when you get a group of women together with the same belief that they can draw strength from each other and potentially become unstoppable in their pursuits as individuals or as a group, it can be amazing. That’s when support from other women happens.

It can be a challenge for those of us who are more of introverts. It takes us longer to trust and open up, but once we do we are loyal to the end and will have your back no matter what. Groups made up of both introverts and extroverts are quite intriguing.

Is it our obligation to teach other women about the power of these groups? To teach our daughters and mothers, creating a ripple effect so that we can potentially impact the world? Absolutely.

So, when we are faced with the choice of dwelling on something negative that may have come to our attention, know when to change your course. Be confident in your circle members that still contribute to the greater good for all, and continue to draw strength from them. And some day another member may be drawing strength from you. It’s all about the circle…

 

 

Mom’s Who Loose Their Sh**!

Mom’s Who Loose Their Sh**!

Recently there has been a lot of talk on social media about mom’s who lose their sh**. They lose it at the end of their day when they’ve clocked in a 18-hour shift. They lose it after they’ve swept the kitchen floor twelve times that day and still manage to locate the rogue cheerio’s by stepping on them, grinding the crunchy mass into their newly laundered merino wool sock. They lose it after the 24th tuck in to include the 8th sip of water, the removal of the lodged booger, and the multiple security checks of the gloom under the bed. Or when their significant other comes home and asks what they’ve been doing all day as they step over the random discarded muddy socks on the floor instead of picking them up…

As patient as they try to be…   sometimes Mom’s do lose their sh**.

And you know what? It’s ok. We are all human. We all try our darndest, and we all at times, are going to get to the end of our ropes. We shouldn’t let it be a reflection of our mothering ability, but at times it might seem that way.

We try to be the best we can, and we love our families dearly. But sometimes, just sometimes, it gets to be so much that the stress and tension of so much riding on just us to please so many other humans…that we reach a certain point!

Hence, the losing of the sh**.

 

 

We still love you. We will still feed you, care for you, check under the beds, and yes, even remove the challenging doosie of a lodged booger. But sometimes we just need a moment.

So, when you see that mom at the grocery store with a couple of flailing little bodies horizontal on the floor and she is trying ever so gracefully to instruct her hooligans to get up and get moving with no reaction from them but to continue the belligerent display of spaziness, cut her some slack. Give her the ole’ head nod that you totally get it and you support her as a fellow community member from the mama’s who sometimes just lose their sh**.


Hoe, Hoe, Hoe…

I was recently on Facebook looking for a kitten for my daughter. I found an add posted by a woman in a nearby town and contacted her. We began chatting back and forth about cats and kids, and I told her that I had 6 children. She went on to call me “a huge hoe”. Excuse me? I thought it was a misprint on her part, but she clarified that she was indeed calling me a huge whore! Wow!

After the initial shock from her rudeness wore off a bit, I asked her why she would make such a statement to a stranger? She informed me that if anyone had more than 3 children, they were indeed whores. I didn’t feel the need to “explain” the number of my children, but did tell her that three of my kids were biological and a few were adopted. She proclaimed that it was “okay then”. Phew! What a relief it was that this ignorant dip stick was pardoning me from a life of a huge hoe label plastered on my forehead!

 

Seriously? Is that what some people really think? And if they think that, do they think it is their place to judge others? I don’t ask for assistance, I provide for all my children, and raise them to be kind, caring and honest human beings. We don’t live like royalty, but we’re grateful for all we have and worked very hard to achieve. But I also know others who still struggle. Plenty of two parent or single parent families with several children who strive every day to make their world a better place and provide for their own families. Good decent kind people who happen to have more than 3 children. Some have 5, 6, or maybe even 8! No matter how they arrived at their “number”, why do some people think it’s ok to judge them and label the women in the equation as whores?

Talking to some women, they have felt judged by this stereotype and the assumption that if they have multiple children they must all be from multiple different men. That they are probably un-employed and sit around all day watching Jerry Springer and sucking down Big Gulps!

I know quite a few successful women (and men) raising their children with partners or alone with large families. They weren’t handed what they have. They worked hard. Do we call the attorney with 5 children a huge hoe because she put herself though law school while working two jobs but decided she wanted multiple children? Where is the kindness and emotional support from other adults? Where is the love for children?

 

I’m not so naive that I don’t realize that there are indeed some people who do milk certain systems and don’t strive to work hard, don’t have a good work ethic, or even attempt to raise kind human beings. But, does that give us permission to treat them with such disdain? Perhaps they have a back story that we know nothing about. Perhaps there is a legitimate reason that they are where they are. Perhaps… Or maybe not. But to pass judgement on every family who may not fit into the “perfect” mold of having two or three children, is just cruddy.

So, to all my fellow “huge hoes” out there, whether you came about your gaggle of children from your uterus, your heart, or your family ties, drive on! You’re doing great!

And no…. I didn’t get the kitten. 😊